Synaesthetic kitchen glossary

Crave

v. to strongly desire a hard, crispy, heavily-salted snack -- including but not limited to: 1) crunchy cheese sticks, baked cheese crackers, or other assorted permutations of heat-hardened carbohydrate and lactose enzymes, 2) tortilla chips slathered with cheese, meat, guacamole, and/or salsa, 3) sea salt and vinegar potato chips

Moist

adj. of or relating to Duncan Hines cake commercial cakes; fork-tender; emitting a generous oozing of frosting and/or rich, sweet sauce upon contact with cutlery or teeth

Splurge

v. to drench in salad dressing, including but not limited to -- Italian, ranch, Catalina, warm bacon, raspberry vinaigrette; the squirting sound/motion of dressing being forcefully ejected from a plastic bottle

Succulent

adj. used only in reference to a particularly tasty crab leg

Platter

n. syn: hedonism